One Blue Belt

Ol' Bluey

I'm all set to travel to Lisbon in two weeks for the IBJJF European Championships, I've got my flights booked and my hotel sorted, in fact the only thing I am missing is One Blue Belt.

In the last two years as a blue belt in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu I have competed countless times, in countless matches (well 51 last year), putting in countless hours on the mat (I lie, I've got a spreadsheet) all of which has left my belt banged up and frayed, which is precisely how I like it as it reflects all the work I've put in along the way. However my faded belt is unlikely to pass the rigorous inspection of those exceptionally well dressed individuals who make up the referees and officials at the Europeans.

So I'm turning to you, the internet for help! I'm seeking a new or decent condition A3 blue belt and promise in return 100 karma points* (*karma points are non refundable).

Last years bling has been melted down for scrap

If you run a sportwear company you could see your little piece of cotton travel to foreign lands and possibly ascend the highest podium in the continent.

If you own a dodgy plumbing firm and provide financial backing (RRP £10-15 plus postage) then I could wear your t-shirt while drunkenly reveling in victory on the streets of Lisbon.

Maybe your a politician looking to distract the public from a scandal with a display of unbridled generosity, or perhaps your a purple belt who has no use for your old belt and would like to see it once again strike fear into your enemies (yes that's right, I'll fight your enemies).

Plus you'll get to see my successes and failures documented on this very blog in what promises to be enthralling fashion. So to paraphrase Princess Leia's impassioned pleading at the beginning of Episode IV 'Help me... You're my only hope'

Grapplenation III: The lost comp diaries

New year = New start, as my comp blogging fell off at the end of the year (thanks a lot new X Box!)
This was supposed to be the first in a three comp odyssey covering Grapplenation, the English Open and Nottingham Open but now stands alone like a confused puppy separated from it's siblings.

Signing up for three competitions in three consecutive weekends seemed like a good way to wrap up 'comp season'. An attempt to reach and sustain an athletic peak in performance and the maintain the dietary necessities to tip the scales at a somewhat lean 88.3kg. In actuality I've been left emotionally drained and physically battered with a strained hip flexor, ambling back to work like someone twice my age.

Grapplenation sounded like a good excuse for a team roadtrip, we had plenty to celebrate with Jack Cronin returning from a lay off to take gold in the Advance nogi category as well as Ed Ingamells dominating performance against a local MMA favourite. Ed's affable persona being severely tested by an opponent who denied his cries of pain constitituted a verbal submission as well as driving his elbows into Ed's severly swollen knee, a technique most frequently employed by white belts and brutes.

In the North they have fog... Indoors

The clue was in the name but Grapplenation attracted a lot of MMA types, unused to the intricacies of the rules they're competing under, not that most people are aware of the rules at an average BJJ tournament.

My opponent in the second round was clearly a strong wrestler, I watched in his previous match as he bullied the other guy on the feet. I quickly pulled guard and managed to shut down his wrestling and frustrate him with the closed guard, after a few minutes of searching for sweeps and subs the guy falls back for a straight footlock allowing me to come up he switches for a heel hook drawing the disqualification.

Due to a couple of drop outs the organisers decided to put this guy straight back into the bracket to compete against a guy who had got a couple of byes, this would make the winner my next opponent in the semi final. I told the table that I would not fight him again as a felt he was unsafe, which drew derision from his team mates and almost got me disqualified. After explaining my position to the organiser Mr Heel Hook was switched to the other side of the bracket, he was quickly caught in a triangle from which he picks his opponent up to head height, at this stage all the spectators as well the referee are yelling for him not to slam, but hey he's an MMA guy so channels his inner Rampage Jackson and spikes the guy on his head.

I'm sure he is a talented grappler but DQ's are there for the safety of all competitors and lightening will strike twice. Thankfully neither I or the victim of the slam were injured and MMA guy was likely disqualified from driving on the way home from the competition.